Develop and organize ideas (Trait 2)

Text 1 — Fines Keep People Away (op-ed by Rosa Delgado, fictional director of the Millbrook Public Library)

(1) For decades, libraries charged small daily fines for late books, believing fines would make people return materials on time. A growing body of evidence suggests that fines do something else: they keep the people who need libraries most from using them.

(2) In Millbrook, about 6,200 residents currently have their cards blocked because they owe more than 10 dollars in fines. Most of these accounts are in our two lowest-income neighborhoods. Many belong to children, who cannot check out books at all until an adult pays.

(3) Fines also bring in less money than people assume. Last year we collected about 38,000 dollars in fines, less than 1 percent of our budget. Staff spent hundreds of hours handling fine payments and disputes, time that could have gone to story hours and job-search help.

(4) When the nearby city of Lakeport eliminated fines in 2019, it did not see a flood of missing books. Within a year, the share of items returned within a month of the due date stayed at 95 percent, and more than 2,000 residents with blocked cards came back to the library. We would still bill patrons for books that are never returned, so materials would remain protected.

(5) The library exists to share knowledge with everyone. A policy that shuts out thousands of residents over a few dollars works against that mission.

Text 2 — Responsibility Still Matters (op-ed by Gary Ott, a fictional Millbrook city council member)

(6) I love our library, and I want it to thrive. That is exactly why I oppose ending overdue fines.

(7) Fines teach responsibility. When I was a boy, I paid a quarter out of my allowance for a late book, and I never forgot it. Young people need to learn that borrowing something from the community comes with a duty to return it.

(8) Ending fines also means giving up revenue at a time when the city budget is tight. Thirty-eight thousand dollars may not sound like much, but it could buy hundreds of new books each year.

(9) And if there is no penalty for keeping books late, why would anyone return them on time? Popular titles will sit on people's shelves for months while others wait in line. The library will become a free-for-all.

(10) Instead of ending fines, the library could offer an amnesty day once a year, when people can return late books without paying. That would help families with blocked cards while keeping a reasonable rule in place.

A student wrote this first draft in response to the two texts about protected bike lanes on Riverton's Main Street. The draft needs revision.

(1) Riverton is arguing about bike lanes. Elena Vasquez, a city transportation planner, supports adding protected lanes to Main Street. Hal Dempsey, who owns a hardware store, opposes the plan because it would remove parking. Bike lanes are a topic many people have opinions about.

(2) Vasquez begins with local facts. She cites police crash reports showing 47 crashes involving cyclists or pedestrians on the downtown stretch, including two deaths. She then points to Lakeside, where a state study found that injury crashes fell by 35 percent after protected lanes were added. I rode my bike in Lakeside once, and the lanes were painted green. A state study covering three years is far more reliable than a guess, so her safety claim is strongly supported.

(3) Vasquez notes that the plan removes 40 parking spaces. The city garage one block away is only 55 percent full on average. A survey of 300 shoppers found that 31 percent would bike downtown more often if they felt safe.

(4) Dempsey relies on feelings and secondhand stories. He says one shop owner told him she "would close her shop," but he gives no numbers. As a result, he never explains why a half-empty garage one block away would not work for his customers. He also claims that most people "always will" drive, a prediction with no evidence behind it.

(5) Dempsey does raise one fair point. Customers who buy heavy items need somewhere to load them. Similarly, this problem could be solved with a few loading zones; it is not a reason to reject a plan that would prevent crashes.

(6) In conclusion, bike lanes have good and bad sides. Riverton should think about it.

A student wrote this first draft in response to the two texts about protected bike lanes on Riverton's Main Street. The draft needs revision.

(1) Riverton is arguing about bike lanes. Elena Vasquez, a city transportation planner, supports adding protected lanes to Main Street. Hal Dempsey, who owns a hardware store, opposes the plan because it would remove parking. Bike lanes are a topic many people have opinions about.

(2) Vasquez begins with local facts. She cites police crash reports showing 47 crashes involving cyclists or pedestrians on the downtown stretch, including two deaths. She then points to Lakeside, where a state study found that injury crashes fell by 35 percent after protected lanes were added. I rode my bike in Lakeside once, and the lanes were painted green. A state study covering three years is far more reliable than a guess, so her safety claim is strongly supported.

(3) Vasquez notes that the plan removes 40 parking spaces. The city garage one block away is only 55 percent full on average. A survey of 300 shoppers found that 31 percent would bike downtown more often if they felt safe.

(4) Dempsey relies on feelings and secondhand stories. He says one shop owner told him she "would close her shop," but he gives no numbers. As a result, he never explains why a half-empty garage one block away would not work for his customers. He also claims that most people "always will" drive, a prediction with no evidence behind it.

(5) Dempsey does raise one fair point. Customers who buy heavy items need somewhere to load them. Similarly, this problem could be solved with a few loading zones; it is not a reason to reject a plan that would prevent crashes.

(6) In conclusion, bike lanes have good and bad sides. Riverton should think about it.

A student wrote this first draft in response to the two texts about ending overdue fines at the Millbrook Public Library. The draft needs revision.

(1) Should libraries charge fines for late books? This question has caused debate in Millbrook. The library director, Rosa Delgado, wants to end fines, but council member Gary Ott wants to keep them. In this essay I will talk about both texts.

(2) Delgado gives specific numbers to back up her claim. She reports that about 6,200 residents have blocked cards, mostly in the two lowest-income neighborhoods. She also points out that fines brought in about 38,000 dollars, less than 1 percent of the library's budget. My cousin once had her library card blocked, and she was really annoyed. These figures show that fines shut out thousands of people while raising very little money.

(3) After Lakeport dropped fines in 2019, 95 percent of items were still returned within a month of the due date. More than 2,000 residents with blocked cards came back to the library. This answers the worry that people will stop returning books. Delgado adds that the library would still bill patrons for books that are never returned.

(4) Lakeport's results suggest the opposite. Ott's argument is weaker. He says fines teach responsibility, but his only support is a memory of paying a quarter as a boy. For example, he claims that without fines "the library will become a free-for-all," yet he offers no evidence for this prediction.

(5) To be fair, Ott makes one reasonable point. The city budget is tight. Therefore, the fine money is small compared with the staff time that fines require, as Delgado explains. Ott's amnesty day would help a little, but it would leave thousands of cards blocked for the rest of the year.

(6) Libraries are important. Everyone should read more books.

A student wrote this first draft in response to the two texts about ending overdue fines at the Millbrook Public Library. The draft needs revision.

(1) Should libraries charge fines for late books? This question has caused debate in Millbrook. The library director, Rosa Delgado, wants to end fines, but council member Gary Ott wants to keep them. In this essay I will talk about both texts.

(2) Delgado gives specific numbers to back up her claim. She reports that about 6,200 residents have blocked cards, mostly in the two lowest-income neighborhoods. She also points out that fines brought in about 38,000 dollars, less than 1 percent of the library's budget. My cousin once had her library card blocked, and she was really annoyed. These figures show that fines shut out thousands of people while raising very little money.

(3) After Lakeport dropped fines in 2019, 95 percent of items were still returned within a month of the due date. More than 2,000 residents with blocked cards came back to the library. This answers the worry that people will stop returning books. Delgado adds that the library would still bill patrons for books that are never returned.

(4) Lakeport's results suggest the opposite. Ott's argument is weaker. He says fines teach responsibility, but his only support is a memory of paying a quarter as a boy. For example, he claims that without fines "the library will become a free-for-all," yet he offers no evidence for this prediction.

(5) To be fair, Ott makes one reasonable point. The city budget is tight. Therefore, the fine money is small compared with the staff time that fines require, as Delgado explains. Ott's amnesty day would help a little, but it would leave thousands of cards blocked for the rest of the year.

(6) Libraries are important. Everyone should read more books.

A student wrote this first draft in response to the two texts about ending overdue fines at the Millbrook Public Library. The draft needs revision.

(1) Should libraries charge fines for late books? This question has caused debate in Millbrook. The library director, Rosa Delgado, wants to end fines, but council member Gary Ott wants to keep them. In this essay I will talk about both texts.

(2) Delgado gives specific numbers to back up her claim. She reports that about 6,200 residents have blocked cards, mostly in the two lowest-income neighborhoods. She also points out that fines brought in about 38,000 dollars, less than 1 percent of the library's budget. My cousin once had her library card blocked, and she was really annoyed. These figures show that fines shut out thousands of people while raising very little money.

(3) After Lakeport dropped fines in 2019, 95 percent of items were still returned within a month of the due date. More than 2,000 residents with blocked cards came back to the library. This answers the worry that people will stop returning books. Delgado adds that the library would still bill patrons for books that are never returned.

(4) Lakeport's results suggest the opposite. Ott's argument is weaker. He says fines teach responsibility, but his only support is a memory of paying a quarter as a boy. For example, he claims that without fines "the library will become a free-for-all," yet he offers no evidence for this prediction.

(5) To be fair, Ott makes one reasonable point. The city budget is tight. Therefore, the fine money is small compared with the staff time that fines require, as Delgado explains. Ott's amnesty day would help a little, but it would leave thousands of cards blocked for the rest of the year.

(6) Libraries are important. Everyone should read more books.

A student wrote this first draft in response to the two texts about ending overdue fines at the Millbrook Public Library. The draft needs revision.

(1) Should libraries charge fines for late books? This question has caused debate in Millbrook. The library director, Rosa Delgado, wants to end fines, but council member Gary Ott wants to keep them. In this essay I will talk about both texts.

(2) Delgado gives specific numbers to back up her claim. She reports that about 6,200 residents have blocked cards, mostly in the two lowest-income neighborhoods. She also points out that fines brought in about 38,000 dollars, less than 1 percent of the library's budget. My cousin once had her library card blocked, and she was really annoyed. These figures show that fines shut out thousands of people while raising very little money.

(3) After Lakeport dropped fines in 2019, 95 percent of items were still returned within a month of the due date. More than 2,000 residents with blocked cards came back to the library. This answers the worry that people will stop returning books. Delgado adds that the library would still bill patrons for books that are never returned.

(4) Lakeport's results suggest the opposite. Ott's argument is weaker. He says fines teach responsibility, but his only support is a memory of paying a quarter as a boy. For example, he claims that without fines "the library will become a free-for-all," yet he offers no evidence for this prediction.

(5) To be fair, Ott makes one reasonable point. The city budget is tight. Therefore, the fine money is small compared with the staff time that fines require, as Delgado explains. Ott's amnesty day would help a little, but it would leave thousands of cards blocked for the rest of the year.

(6) Libraries are important. Everyone should read more books.

A student wrote this first draft in response to the two texts about ending overdue fines at the Millbrook Public Library. The draft needs revision.

(1) Should libraries charge fines for late books? This question has caused debate in Millbrook. The library director, Rosa Delgado, wants to end fines, but council member Gary Ott wants to keep them. In this essay I will talk about both texts.

(2) Delgado gives specific numbers to back up her claim. She reports that about 6,200 residents have blocked cards, mostly in the two lowest-income neighborhoods. She also points out that fines brought in about 38,000 dollars, less than 1 percent of the library's budget. My cousin once had her library card blocked, and she was really annoyed. These figures show that fines shut out thousands of people while raising very little money.

(3) After Lakeport dropped fines in 2019, 95 percent of items were still returned within a month of the due date. More than 2,000 residents with blocked cards came back to the library. This answers the worry that people will stop returning books. Delgado adds that the library would still bill patrons for books that are never returned.

(4) Lakeport's results suggest the opposite. Ott's argument is weaker. He says fines teach responsibility, but his only support is a memory of paying a quarter as a boy. For example, he claims that without fines "the library will become a free-for-all," yet he offers no evidence for this prediction.

(5) To be fair, Ott makes one reasonable point. The city budget is tight. Therefore, the fine money is small compared with the staff time that fines require, as Delgado explains. Ott's amnesty day would help a little, but it would leave thousands of cards blocked for the rest of the year.

(6) Libraries are important. Everyone should read more books.

A student wrote this first draft in response to the two texts about protected bike lanes on Riverton's Main Street. The draft needs revision.

(1) Riverton is arguing about bike lanes. Elena Vasquez, a city transportation planner, supports adding protected lanes to Main Street. Hal Dempsey, who owns a hardware store, opposes the plan because it would remove parking. Bike lanes are a topic many people have opinions about.

(2) Vasquez begins with local facts. She cites police crash reports showing 47 crashes involving cyclists or pedestrians on the downtown stretch, including two deaths. She then points to Lakeside, where a state study found that injury crashes fell by 35 percent after protected lanes were added. I rode my bike in Lakeside once, and the lanes were painted green. A state study covering three years is far more reliable than a guess, so her safety claim is strongly supported.

(3) Vasquez notes that the plan removes 40 parking spaces. The city garage one block away is only 55 percent full on average. A survey of 300 shoppers found that 31 percent would bike downtown more often if they felt safe.

(4) Dempsey relies on feelings and secondhand stories. He says one shop owner told him she "would close her shop," but he gives no numbers. As a result, he never explains why a half-empty garage one block away would not work for his customers. He also claims that most people "always will" drive, a prediction with no evidence behind it.

(5) Dempsey does raise one fair point. Customers who buy heavy items need somewhere to load them. Similarly, this problem could be solved with a few loading zones; it is not a reason to reject a plan that would prevent crashes.

(6) In conclusion, bike lanes have good and bad sides. Riverton should think about it.

Text 1 — Protected Bike Lanes Will Make Main Street Safer and Busier (op-ed by Elena Vasquez, fictional transportation planner for the city of Riverton)

(1) The city's plan to add protected bike lanes to Main Street, separated from traffic by a curb, deserves support. It would make the street safer for everyone and bring more customers downtown.

(2) Main Street is dangerous now. Police crash reports show 47 crashes involving cyclists or pedestrians on the one-mile downtown stretch from 2019 to 2023, including two deaths.

(3) Protected lanes work. When the city of Lakeside added similar lanes to its main shopping street, a study by the state transportation department found that injury crashes fell by 35 percent over three years. Drivers also slowed down, which made the street safer for people on foot.

(4) Businesses benefit too. The plan removes 40 of Main Street's 210 parking spaces, but the city garage one block away is, on average, only 55 percent full. In a city survey of 300 downtown shoppers, 22 percent said they already arrive by bike or on foot, and 31 percent said they would bike downtown more often if they felt safe.

(5) Change can feel uncomfortable, but the evidence shows this plan will save lives and help downtown grow.

Text 2 — Don't Take Away Our Parking (letter to the editor from Hal Dempsey, owner of a hardware store on Main Street)

(6) The city wants to take away 40 parking spaces in front of our shops for a few bikes. This is a terrible idea.

(7) My customers buy heavy things like bags of mulch and cans of paint. Nobody is going to carry a ladder home on a bicycle. If people cannot park in front of my store, they will drive to the big-box store on the highway.

(8) I have talked to many shop owners on Main Street, and all of them are worried. One told me she would close her shop if the lanes go in.

(9) Bike lanes might work in big cities, but Riverton is not a big city. Most people here drive, and they always will. The city should spend its money fixing potholes instead of chasing trends.

A student wrote this first draft in response to the two texts about protected bike lanes on Riverton's Main Street. The draft needs revision.

(1) Riverton is arguing about bike lanes. Elena Vasquez, a city transportation planner, supports adding protected lanes to Main Street. Hal Dempsey, who owns a hardware store, opposes the plan because it would remove parking. Bike lanes are a topic many people have opinions about.

(2) Vasquez begins with local facts. She cites police crash reports showing 47 crashes involving cyclists or pedestrians on the downtown stretch, including two deaths. She then points to Lakeside, where a state study found that injury crashes fell by 35 percent after protected lanes were added. I rode my bike in Lakeside once, and the lanes were painted green. A state study covering three years is far more reliable than a guess, so her safety claim is strongly supported.

(3) Vasquez notes that the plan removes 40 parking spaces. The city garage one block away is only 55 percent full on average. A survey of 300 shoppers found that 31 percent would bike downtown more often if they felt safe.

(4) Dempsey relies on feelings and secondhand stories. He says one shop owner told him she "would close her shop," but he gives no numbers. As a result, he never explains why a half-empty garage one block away would not work for his customers. He also claims that most people "always will" drive, a prediction with no evidence behind it.

(5) Dempsey does raise one fair point. Customers who buy heavy items need somewhere to load them. Similarly, this problem could be solved with a few loading zones; it is not a reason to reject a plan that would prevent crashes.

(6) In conclusion, bike lanes have good and bad sides. Riverton should think about it.

Text 1 — Every Graduate Needs Money Skills (speech excerpt by Laura Kim, a fictional state senator)

(1) Our state should require every high school student to pass a one-semester personal finance course before graduating.

(2) My own nephew left high school without knowing what interest was. By age 23, he owed more than 15,000 dollars on three credit cards. His story is not unusual. Every adult I know wishes someone had taught them about money when they were young.

(3) Look at the numbers. Our nation's debt is more than 30 trillion dollars. Clearly, Americans do not know how to manage money, and that problem starts in our schools.

(4) Some school leaders say they do not have room in the schedule. But what could be more important than learning to manage a paycheck? It is common sense: if we want responsible adults, we must teach responsibility.

(5) Anyone who opposes this requirement is saying that our children's financial futures do not matter.

Text 2 — Teach Money Skills Without a New Mandate (op-ed by Dr. Marcus Hill, fictional superintendent of the Pine Valley School District)

(6) Financial skills matter, and I agree that students need them. The question is how to teach them best.

(7) Our schedules are already full. Students in Pine Valley need 24 credits to graduate, and most seniors have only two elective slots left. A required semester course would push out other electives, such as welding, music or a second year of a world language.

(8) We also lack teachers. Pine Valley has nine open math and business teaching positions this year, the most in a decade. A new required course would need about six more full-time teachers across our district.

(9) There is a better approach. Last year, four Pine Valley high schools added a six-week money unit to their required economics and math classes. On a 100-point financial knowledge test, those students averaged 18 points higher than students at schools without the unit.

(10) Before passing a mandate, the state should fund programs like this one, which build money skills without crowding out other learning.

A student wrote this first draft in response to the two texts about requiring a personal finance course. The draft needs revision.

(1) Most adults agree that young people should learn to manage money, but they disagree about how schools should teach it. Senator Laura Kim wants every high school student in the state to pass a personal finance course. Superintendent Marcus Hill agrees that students need money skills but argues that a new required course is the wrong way to teach them. Hill's argument is better supported because he uses specific district data and the results of a local program, while Kim relies on one family story and a misleading statistic.

(2) Her main example is her nephew, who owed more than 15,000 dollars on credit cards by age 23. One person's experience cannot show what is true for every student in the state. My aunt also has a lot of credit card debt. Kim's claim that "every adult I know" wishes they had learned about money is also too vague to prove anything. Credit cards first became common in the 1950s.

(3) Kim's numbers are no better. She points to the national debt of more than 30 trillion dollars and uses it to claim that Americans do not know how to manage money. That figure is money owed by the federal government, not by individual families.

(4) Hill, by contrast, grounds each point in evidence. He reports that most seniors have only two elective slots left and that the district has nine open math and business positions. He adds that a required course would need about six more full-time teachers. Most importantly, he describes a program in which students who took a six-week money unit averaged 18 points higher on a financial knowledge test.

(5) In conclusion, that is why personal finance is important. Everyone should learn to save money.

Text 1 — Cameras Make Intersections Safer (report summary by Dana Whitfield, Fairview's fictional city traffic engineer)

(1) Every year, drivers who run red lights cause serious crashes at Fairview's busiest intersections. Red-light cameras, which photograph vehicles that enter an intersection after the light turns red and mail a ticket to the owner, can reduce that danger.

(2) In 2022, Fairview tested cameras at 10 intersections for one year. Compared with the previous three-year average at those same intersections, right-angle "T-bone" crashes, the most deadly type, fell by 31 percent. Red-light violations dropped by 45 percent in the first six months, showing that drivers changed their behavior once they knew cameras were present.

(3) These results match national research. Studies of large U.S. cities by highway safety researchers have found that camera programs reduce fatal crashes caused by red-light running.

(4) Critics note that rear-end crashes sometimes rise when cameras are installed, because drivers brake suddenly. Our test found this too: rear-end crashes increased by 12 percent. However, rear-end crashes usually cause far less serious injuries than side-impact crashes, and total injury crashes at the test sites fell by 18 percent.

(5) To keep the program focused on safety, I recommend that ticket revenue go only toward road-safety projects and that cameras be placed only where crash data show a need.

Text 2 — Cameras Are About Money, Not Safety (letter to the editor from Ray Castillo, a fictional member of a local drivers' group)

(6) Red-light cameras are a cash grab. Cities love them because they bring in millions of dollars in tickets, not because they make anyone safer.

(7) Cameras cause crashes. Drivers slam on their brakes to avoid a ticket, and the car behind them crashes into them. My neighbor was rear-ended at a camera intersection last year and still has back pain.

(8) Cameras also treat drivers as guilty without a trial. A machine cannot know whether you entered the intersection to make way for an ambulance or because the road was icy.

(9) Some cities have even been accused of shortening yellow lights to catch more drivers. Fairview could do the same. Instead of cameras, the city should lengthen yellow lights and put more police officers at dangerous intersections.

Text 1 — Every Graduate Needs Money Skills (speech excerpt by Laura Kim, a fictional state senator)

(1) Our state should require every high school student to pass a one-semester personal finance course before graduating.

(2) My own nephew left high school without knowing what interest was. By age 23, he owed more than 15,000 dollars on three credit cards. His story is not unusual. Every adult I know wishes someone had taught them about money when they were young.

(3) Look at the numbers. Our nation's debt is more than 30 trillion dollars. Clearly, Americans do not know how to manage money, and that problem starts in our schools.

(4) Some school leaders say they do not have room in the schedule. But what could be more important than learning to manage a paycheck? It is common sense: if we want responsible adults, we must teach responsibility.

(5) Anyone who opposes this requirement is saying that our children's financial futures do not matter.

Text 2 — Teach Money Skills Without a New Mandate (op-ed by Dr. Marcus Hill, fictional superintendent of the Pine Valley School District)

(6) Financial skills matter, and I agree that students need them. The question is how to teach them best.

(7) Our schedules are already full. Students in Pine Valley need 24 credits to graduate, and most seniors have only two elective slots left. A required semester course would push out other electives, such as welding, music or a second year of a world language.

(8) We also lack teachers. Pine Valley has nine open math and business teaching positions this year, the most in a decade. A new required course would need about six more full-time teachers across our district.

(9) There is a better approach. Last year, four Pine Valley high schools added a six-week money unit to their required economics and math classes. On a 100-point financial knowledge test, those students averaged 18 points higher than students at schools without the unit.

(10) Before passing a mandate, the state should fund programs like this one, which build money skills without crowding out other learning.

A student wrote this first draft in response to the two texts about requiring a personal finance course. The draft needs revision.

(1) Most adults agree that young people should learn to manage money, but they disagree about how schools should teach it. Senator Laura Kim wants every high school student in the state to pass a personal finance course. Superintendent Marcus Hill agrees that students need money skills but argues that a new required course is the wrong way to teach them. Hill's argument is better supported because he uses specific district data and the results of a local program, while Kim relies on one family story and a misleading statistic.

(2) Her main example is her nephew, who owed more than 15,000 dollars on credit cards by age 23. One person's experience cannot show what is true for every student in the state. My aunt also has a lot of credit card debt. Kim's claim that "every adult I know" wishes they had learned about money is also too vague to prove anything. Credit cards first became common in the 1950s.

(3) Kim's numbers are no better. She points to the national debt of more than 30 trillion dollars and uses it to claim that Americans do not know how to manage money. That figure is money owed by the federal government, not by individual families.

(4) Hill, by contrast, grounds each point in evidence. He reports that most seniors have only two elective slots left and that the district has nine open math and business positions. He adds that a required course would need about six more full-time teachers. Most importantly, he describes a program in which students who took a six-week money unit averaged 18 points higher on a financial knowledge test.

(5) In conclusion, that is why personal finance is important. Everyone should learn to save money.

Text 1 — Every Graduate Needs Money Skills (speech excerpt by Laura Kim, a fictional state senator)

(1) Our state should require every high school student to pass a one-semester personal finance course before graduating.

(2) My own nephew left high school without knowing what interest was. By age 23, he owed more than 15,000 dollars on three credit cards. His story is not unusual. Every adult I know wishes someone had taught them about money when they were young.

(3) Look at the numbers. Our nation's debt is more than 30 trillion dollars. Clearly, Americans do not know how to manage money, and that problem starts in our schools.

(4) Some school leaders say they do not have room in the schedule. But what could be more important than learning to manage a paycheck? It is common sense: if we want responsible adults, we must teach responsibility.

(5) Anyone who opposes this requirement is saying that our children's financial futures do not matter.

Text 2 — Teach Money Skills Without a New Mandate (op-ed by Dr. Marcus Hill, fictional superintendent of the Pine Valley School District)

(6) Financial skills matter, and I agree that students need them. The question is how to teach them best.

(7) Our schedules are already full. Students in Pine Valley need 24 credits to graduate, and most seniors have only two elective slots left. A required semester course would push out other electives, such as welding, music or a second year of a world language.

(8) We also lack teachers. Pine Valley has nine open math and business teaching positions this year, the most in a decade. A new required course would need about six more full-time teachers across our district.

(9) There is a better approach. Last year, four Pine Valley high schools added a six-week money unit to their required economics and math classes. On a 100-point financial knowledge test, those students averaged 18 points higher than students at schools without the unit.

(10) Before passing a mandate, the state should fund programs like this one, which build money skills without crowding out other learning.

A student wrote this first draft in response to the two texts about requiring a personal finance course. The draft needs revision.

(1) Most adults agree that young people should learn to manage money, but they disagree about how schools should teach it. Senator Laura Kim wants every high school student in the state to pass a personal finance course. Superintendent Marcus Hill agrees that students need money skills but argues that a new required course is the wrong way to teach them. Hill's argument is better supported because he uses specific district data and the results of a local program, while Kim relies on one family story and a misleading statistic.

(2) Her main example is her nephew, who owed more than 15,000 dollars on credit cards by age 23. One person's experience cannot show what is true for every student in the state. My aunt also has a lot of credit card debt. Kim's claim that "every adult I know" wishes they had learned about money is also too vague to prove anything. Credit cards first became common in the 1950s.

(3) Kim's numbers are no better. She points to the national debt of more than 30 trillion dollars and uses it to claim that Americans do not know how to manage money. That figure is money owed by the federal government, not by individual families.

(4) Hill, by contrast, grounds each point in evidence. He reports that most seniors have only two elective slots left and that the district has nine open math and business positions. He adds that a required course would need about six more full-time teachers. Most importantly, he describes a program in which students who took a six-week money unit averaged 18 points higher on a financial knowledge test.

(5) In conclusion, that is why personal finance is important. Everyone should learn to save money.

A student wrote this first draft in response to the two texts about requiring a personal finance course. The draft needs revision.

(1) Most adults agree that young people should learn to manage money, but they disagree about how schools should teach it. Senator Laura Kim wants every high school student in the state to pass a personal finance course. Superintendent Marcus Hill agrees that students need money skills but argues that a new required course is the wrong way to teach them. Hill's argument is better supported because he uses specific district data and the results of a local program, while Kim relies on one family story and a misleading statistic.

(2) Her main example is her nephew, who owed more than 15,000 dollars on credit cards by age 23. One person's experience cannot show what is true for every student in the state. My aunt also has a lot of credit card debt. Kim's claim that "every adult I know" wishes they had learned about money is also too vague to prove anything. Credit cards first became common in the 1950s.

(3) Kim's numbers are no better. She points to the national debt of more than 30 trillion dollars and uses it to claim that Americans do not know how to manage money. That figure is money owed by the federal government, not by individual families.

(4) Hill, by contrast, grounds each point in evidence. He reports that most seniors have only two elective slots left and that the district has nine open math and business positions. He adds that a required course would need about six more full-time teachers. Most importantly, he describes a program in which students who took a six-week money unit averaged 18 points higher on a financial knowledge test.

(5) In conclusion, that is why personal finance is important. Everyone should learn to save money.